Programming your brain

The human brain is wired to be adaptive. We humans are “the magic animal” because we can imagine things that don’t exist and create them, and see things not only as they are, but as they could be. Our limitations as individuals are often determined by our limited thinking. As a therapist I sometimes had the privilege of working with people whose goal in therapy was personal growth, and of seeing them grow. Two fundamental questions for such clients are, “How do you want to change?” and “What do you see as hindering you from making that change?” Insight may play a role in the process of choosing to change your behavior, but it often requires learning and practicing new skills. One of the psycho-educational groups I used to teach was “Skills for Growth.”

One apt metaphor for growth psychology is upgrading your mental programming. A good therapist can help people to identify outdated or defective programs in their operating system, and to upgrade them with new “software.” There’s growing evidence of the brain’s neuroplasticity, which is to say that behavioral changes can actually “re-wire” synaptic connections in the brain, making it easier to maintain the new behavior.

We all inherit beliefs from our social environments as we grow up, whether those beliefs shape our behavior in a functional or dysfunctional manner. Clusters of beliefs about this or that aspect of life are known as schemas, and they guide our behavior for better or worse. For instance, Fred grew up in a family where his father dominated his mother, sometimes yelling at her and slapping her around. His father taught him that the husband “wears the pants in the family” and that sometimes husbands have to hit their wives, to remind them who’s boss. This is Fred’s schema – mental model – for marriage until he falls in love with Susie, who believes (like her parents) that husbands and wives should be equal partners in marriage. So Fred goes to pre-marital counseling with Susie, at her insistence, and realizes that she’ll never be a submissive wife like his mother. He comes to realize that his  “marriage programming” is outdated and needs an upgrade, if he wants to marry Susie. So he listens and learns, upgrading his schema regarding marriage.

Similarly, Angela may decide that she needs to replace her stress relief schema and stop relying on alcohol and other drugs to chill out. And Paul may decide that he doesn’t like being programmed for dependency, and install new programming for increased autonomy and initiative-taking. Upgrading your programming doesn’t necessarily require the help of a therapist, if you’re a self-starter. Once you become aware that there are upgrades for obsolete or ineffective programs, you can re-program on your own. New possibilities become visible when we change our thinking and examine our attitudes.

We can use mnemonic devices – memory aids – to change bad habits, setting rules and keeping score to systematically reinforce desired behavior changes. As an example, I decided to establish a zero-tolerance policy regarding my occasional failure to turn off stove burners or the oven after cooking. I chose as my mnemonic device turning on the stove light whenever I’m cooking. Ideally, I don’t leave the kitchen to eat until I’ve turned off the light, and I don’t turn the light off until I’ve made sure that all the burners and the oven are turned off. This works most of the time. The consequence for leaving a burner or the oven on after I’ve finished cooking is that I record it on a calendar that hangs near the stove. I don’t like having to record failures, so in the language of behavior modification this is a mildly aversive consequence. But it’s enough to shape my behavior in the desired direction, and I have an accurate record of my rate of behavior change. It’s been over six months since my last transgression, and I intend to keep on with my protocol until I’ve “extinguished the target behavior” entirely, and go for a whole year without a slip. By then I will have created a new reflex behavior and, perhaps, a new synaptic connection in my brain.

Behavior modification is all about targeted and systematic behavior change, but you don’t have to be in therapy to use the principles to re-shape your behavior. You can set goals and create your own plan. Announcing your goal to friends and loved ones, and establishing meaningful consequences for not making measurable progress toward your goals, can help. Consequences can include positive reinforcers (rewards, tangible or intangible), negative reinforcers (withholding positive reinforcers), and/or aversive consequences, like marking your calendar every time you fail to achieve your target behavior, or having to admit to your friends that you didn’t meet your goal.

Mental rehearsal is part of programming ourselves – positively or negatively – for the achievement of goals. We rehearse for upcoming events in our minds, sometimes encountering anticipatory anxiety. Sometimes we reflexively rehearse for failure, ruminating about everything that could go wrong in our upcoming performance, whether on the stage, in the bedroom, or in the conference room. Sometimes we give up and stop trying because we convince ourselves that we can’t succeed. Rule number one in rehearsing for success is not to ruminate on failure scenarios, or to focus on your doubts and insecurities. Rule number two is to actively rehearse for success, behaviorally and attitudinally. If it’s a public performance of some kind, practice, practice, practice until you’ve got it down to a reflex. And then harness the power of your imagination to rehearse for success. If it’s a public speaking engagement you’re nervous about, perform it in front of a mirror repeatedly and imagine the enthusiastic applause you’ll get – or even a standing ovation!

Teaching psycho-educational groups, I used to cite a psychological experiment I’d heard about in which two groups of ten people with average basketball free throw skills were to have ten free throws for record, to see whether Team A or Team B would score more baskets. Team A got to have ten practice throws before throwing for record. Team B was told to relax and visualize ten perfect throws in front of a cheering crowd. Obviously, Team B scored higher. While the members of Team A sunk some baskets and missed others while practicing, the members of Team B had a mental set of 100% success. I can’t give you a reference to this particular experiment in motivational psychology, but I can tell you that visualization of optimal performance and success is an important element in sports psychology. Visualizing positive outcomes – rehearsing for success – can help anyone to perform at their best, if they’re well-prepared.

If we discover that one of our mental programs/schemas is obsolete and limits our potentials, we can upgrade to an improved program that allows for new possibilities. Our past is not our potential.

 

Anger Management II

My father was an Army officer and a strict disciplinarian, but he was a gentle man by nature and never spanked me when he was angry – except once.  When I committed a spanking offense such as lying, he might get angry, but would order me to go to my room and wait. By the time he came to administer the punishment,  he’d have calmed down, and would hug me soon afterward, to let me know all was forgiven and that he loved me. He did the same with my brother and sister. Spankings were few and far between in the Koob household, and none of us children were ever called “bad” or “stupid.” None of us were ever slapped or beaten.

I’m extremely grateful to have grown up in a loving family, with minimal use of corporal punishment. But I’m also grateful that my father slipped that one time and spanked me, not because of something I’d done, but because he was angry. I still remember the feelings of helplessness and rage that accompanied the physical pain. I’m grateful because my father’s slip gave me a taste of what it’s like to be physically abused, and it heightened my empathy for victims of abuse. In my career as a therapist I would work with many men, women and children who grew up in families where physical and emotional abuse was commonplace. One of the most common “invisible scars” of abuse is  residual anger.  Sometimes a reservoir of accumulated rage erupts as angry or destructive acting-out; sometimes the rage is repressed, and manifests as depression.

People who have temper problems usually came by them honestly. If some – or many – of the adult role models in a child’s social environment are physically and/or verbally violent, violence can become normalized. Violence is a sad legacy in some families, passed on from generation to generation. But it only takes one generation to break the chain of family violence, and I’ve been privileged to work with parents who were determined not to do to their children what was done to them by their own parents.

I’ve taught anger management to many parents who were ordered into counseling by family courts, as well as people who entered counseling voluntarily because they had anger issues to deal with. I’ve also taught anger management to groups of cops, parents, teachers, and Marine Corps drill sergeants. I started my group presentations by talking about the origins of anger control problems, the importance of parents role-modeling the non-violent resolution of conflicts, and my guidelines for spanking.

It is sometimes possible to raise a child well, without using physical pain as a teaching tool. But if a parent finds it necessary to use corporal punishment, it should be the punishment-of-the-last-resort. If you have to spank a child frequently, it’s not working; find out what does. Finally, never inflict pain on your child when you’re angry. All you will teach him or her is to role-model that it’s okay to hit when you’re angry. After a calmly-administered spanking, make sure the child understands why you felt the need to spank in this instance, and express your love, verbally or with a hug. If you slip, like my father did, you owe the child an apology.

Learning anger management doesn’t mean you won’t get angry anymore. Everybody gets angry sometimes- except maybe the Dalai Lama. My definition of practicing anger management is that you can still make good decisions, no matter how angry you are. You don’t do or say things you’ll regret later. As with stress management, the first step in learning to manage your anger is a self-assessment. Knowing the “why” of your anger problem isn’t as important as knowing the “whats.”

How does your anger typically manifest? Aggression, passive-aggression? Physical harm to self or others? Verbal aggression? How does your anger management problem affect your life? What are the predictable triggers  for your anger reactions? What are your cues? (Physical signs that you’re angry, such as a rapid heartbeat or a flushed face.) Once you’ve completed your assessment, you’re ready to try out whatever physical and mental anger management techniques you think might help you to change your behavior.

Physical anger management. If one of your cues for anger is rapid breathing, you can learn breath control. If muscle tension is a cue, you can learn to relax the muscles you typically tense when you’re angry. The key is becoming mindful of your triggers and cues. You can learn to physicalize your anger in a non-threatening and non-destructive manner, jogging, or doing pushups, or working out on a punching bag. If you can walk away from the situation that triggered you, you might be able to regain your cool quickly. Other factors in physical anger management are  adequate sleep and good nutrition.

Mental anger management. I’ve already written several posts about rational thinking, and think it’s the key to mental anger management. If I give situations and other people the power to “make me mad,” I’ve placed the locus of control outside of myself; I blame externals for my anger and for my behavior when I’m angry. If my locus of control is internal, I understand that I generate and sustain my own anger in response to things that happen (or don’t happen) in my life, and can control my behavior no matter how angry I am. If I know that someone is trying to trigger me, I can deny him the satisfaction. People who don’t rise to the bait can’t be hooked.

I’ve had the advantage of going through a “plebe system” at The Citadel – a military academy – which is like nine months of boot camp in the armed forces. I’ve had the experience, multiple times, of having an upperclassman scream in my face, or make me do pushups until I collapsed in a pool of sweat. Although I wanted to punch some of my antagonists, or curse them and walk away, I had to remind myself that this wasn’t personal. If I wanted to graduate from The Citadel, it was something I had to endure for my freshman year. I now see that, like boot camp, it was a stress inoculation,  and a preparation for combat.

Anger is a universal experience, and isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It’s fully justified in some situations, and may even help us to survive, as with a soldier in combat. Practicing anger management means knowing that you’re in control, even when angry.

Hypnosis

Hypnosis isn’t just one thing, but describes a range of mental states in which one is receptive to suggestions. Stage hypnosis and clinical hypnosis aren’t the same phenomenon. There are a number of popular myths and misconceptions about hypnosis, and several models to explain hypnotic phenomena. I learned the basic techniques of hypnosis in grad school and practiced on friends. But since I never got certified as a hypnotist, I limited the use of hypnotic techniques in my clinical practice. I usually only did one “trance induction” per client, when it seemed appropriate, with the goal of teaching them self-hypnosis while they were “in a trance.” Outside of work, I’ve hypnotized friends at their request, for such things as pain relief.

I put quotation marks around trance because trance induction is only one model – the best known – for hypnosis; but no model is perfect for all occasions. (See my past post on the Model Muddle.) Traditional trance induction involves a verbal induction, which may start with something like “You are getting very sleepy . . . .”, sometimes accompanied by a visual stimulus such as a pendulum, whose motion the subject is told to follow with his eyes. But some verbal inductions suggest that the subject’s eyelids “are getting very heavy” and will soon shut. A technique called guided fantasy can also induce a trance, as can a well-told story.

Stage hypnosis is another thing entirely. The silly on-stage behaviors  of the “hypnotized” volunteers from the audience appear to be best explained by a social role model of hypnosis. This role-playing proceeds from one of the popular myths about hypnosis: that the hypnotist can control his “subject’s” behavior. Anyone who comes forward when the stage hypnotist invites volunteers is a wanna-be performer, predisposed to do whatever he’s told. The hypnotist “auditions” the crowd to see which people are the most suggestable, weeding out the less suggestable. The volunteers he selects to go on stage know they’re absolved of all responsibility for any silly  thing they may do, because they’re seen as being under the hypnotist’s control. He earns his paycheck before his subjects are on stage, because he knows the people he’s selected will act-out the role of hypnotic subject, as it’s popularly understood.

Some people are better hypnotic subjects than others, and clinical hypnotists have ways of assessing “depth of trance” before making therapeutic suggestions. They don’t exert control over the behavior of their clients, but help them harness the power of their imagination and will, to bring about desired changes in behavior. A good hypnotic subject is one who wants to experience a trance state, and expects something good to come from it – if only a feeling of relaxation. It helps if the subject thinks hypnosis can help them achieve a desired goal, such as pain control, quitting smoking, or losing weight.

A good subject can be taught self-hypnosis, and learns that any power she’d thought resided in the hypnotist in fact resides within herself. When a placebo pill works to relieve pain, it’s because the person taking it wants and expects it to – another example of how motivation affects perception. People can learn to use trance to re-direct their mind away from pain,  or from nicotine cravings. Naturally occurring events can  temporarily result in relief from pain. If you were flying in an airliner while you had a splitting headache, and the plane experienced extreme turbulence for two minutes and seemed to be falling out of the sky, it’s likely that you’d lose all awareness of your headache for those two minutes. If panic can re-direct the mind away from pain, so can other things.

Post-hypnotic suggestions can help people to change behavior, but there’s nothing magical about their power. A hypnotist working with a client on smoking cessation will give positive suggestions while he’s in trance, then may give post-hypnotic suggestions that he won’t feel like smoking after the session, and if he does smoke, the cigarette will taste terrible. What the hypnotist can’t supply for the client is willpower. If the client takes a puff after the session and throws the cigarette away because it tastes awful, this experience may help him to fight cravings and stop smoking. But if he resumes smoking despite the initial bad taste, the post-hypnotic suggestion quickly fades.

The only “magical” element of hypnosis is the magic of the human imagination. Hypnotic subjects don’t lose control in trance, and can’t be hypnotically forced to do things they don’t want to do. People can’t get “stuck” in trance. While positive hypnotic suggestions can help people marshal their inner resources to change chosen behaviors, there’s no truth to the notion that it can improve memory or sharpen the recall of details of past events. Indeed,  it can encourage the development of false memories.

In a later post I’ll be writing about Ericksonian hypnotherapy, which revolutionized our understanding – and the practice – of clinical hypnosis in the latter half of the twentieth century. Dr. Milton Erikson was a genius psychotherapist, whose influence on the profession is evidenced by the fact that the Milton Erikson Foundation sponsors the Evolution of Psychotherapy conferences – the world’s largest convocation of psychotherapists.

Stress Management

We’ve all heard that prolonged stress negatively impacts our health, but stress isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Dr. Hans Selye, one of the pioneers of stress management, said that stress can be “the spice of life or the kiss of death.” He labeled negative stress distress and positive stress eustress. If we choose to ride a rollercoaster, or to scale a cliff, or watch a horror movie, we’re choosing to experience stress. Stress is an unavoidable fact of life, and a stress-free life would be an uneventful life – boring. Sexual excitement is a form of stress, and we all enjoy an adrenaline rush from time to time, especially if we chose the stimulus that triggered it.

Our autonomic nervous system, which regulates automatic behaviors, has two branches: sympathetic and parasympathetic. Both are involved what Dr. Selye called the “fight or flight” response. Activation of the sympathetic response gears us up, preparing us to fight or flee, whether or not we’re in danger. Heartbeat and breathing instantly become more rapid,  delivering more oxygenated blood to the brain and the extremities. Blood pressure and blood sugar rise, muscles tense in anticipation of action, and you may experience a jolt of adrenaline. After the event or situation that triggered the sympathetic response is past, the parasympathetic branch kicks in, reversing the fight or flight response and allowing us to “rest and digest.” We’re told not to go swimming right after eating a meal, because our blood flow has been re-directed from our extremities to our gut, increasing the possibility of a muscle cramp.

The fight or flight response evolved to help our ancestors to avoid being eaten and to hunt dangerous prey. If you’re a soldier in a combat zone, or a cop, or a firefighter, you may experience it on a regular basis. But although only a few of us in modern society frequently face physical peril – other than heavy traffic – we respond to perceived existential threats, even if we’re not actually in immediate danger. Combinations of financial, social and environmental stressors (How am I going to pay the rent? Is my wife being unfaithful?) can result in a high level of distress, sometimes manifesting as anxiety.

Anxiety is similar to fear, although the causes might be multiple and may not be immediate physical threats. A person having an anxiety  attack may experience their fight or flight response as paralyzing. Once you’ve had one, your fear of having another one becomes yet another stressor in your life. If you only occasionally have fight or flight reactions, stress may not be a significant factor in your health. But if you have them frequently, your health may be affected. But frequent fight or flight reactions aren’t the only stress-related threat. Chronic overstress – having more on your plate than you can handle – can kill.

Stress management doesn’t mean eliminating stress. It means controlling the amount of stress in your everyday life and, where possible, eliminating stressors. There are both physical and mental aspects to stress management. But first you need to identify the sources of stress in your life, your triggers for stress reactions, and how stress affects you.

If you need to practice stress management, start with an inventory of your stress factors: job security and satisfaction, finances, safety, residential issues, and personal relationships. Think of how you might be able to reduce unwanted stress in each area. It may mean some tough choices. Then list the kinds of situations and events that tend to trigger stress reactions. Being aware of your stress triggers may help you to prepare for them or learn ways to avoid them. Become more aware of how you typically respond to stress triggers and overstress. Do you somaticize (physicalize) it into headaches or bellyaches or backaches? Do you stay angry or depressed? Do you worry excessively? Anxiety has many faces , including free-floating (generalized) anxiety, panic attacks, and phobias – including social phobias. After doing this analysis of the role of stress in your life, you’re ready to look at physical and mental stress management techniques.

Physical stress management techniques include breath control, learning to relax your muscles, meditation, self-hypnosis, yoga, exercise, good nutrition, and adequate sleep. Avoid self-medicating with alcohol or other drugs. If you’ve listed rapid breathing as a stress symptom, you can learn to slow your breathing when you’re under stress. This helps to bring the fight or flight response under your control. There are many techniques for relaxing tense muscles, and relaxing the body tends to simultaneously relax the mind. I used to teach clients a method of focusing on the sensations in each of the muscle groups of the body in turn, tensing and relaxing each muscle group until they became aware that they could relax them at will by focusing on the changing sensations. It’s a form of mindfulness.

Learning time management or anger management might be part of your stress management plan. The best single mental stress management I’m aware of – besides meditation, which calms both body and mind – is rational thinking. (I’ve previously published several posts on rational thinking as a learnable skill.) Any stressful situation can be made more stressful by the way we think about it, and the effects of stressors in our lives can be minimized by thinking about them rationally. Failing to achieve something you wanted to achieve doesn’t make you “a Failure.”  Telling yourself that you’ll never get over a loss can be a stress-inducing self-fulfilling prophesy. Thinking that they “can’t stand” something has never helped anyone to cope with distress.

Some stressors can be minimized or overcome, others can be tolerated until circumstances change, by developing coping skills. We can all learn to manage our stress to some degree, if we understand it for what it is and make a conscious effort to control its effect on our lives. Coming up with your own personalized stress management plan and implementing it can help you to become more resilient in times of adversity, and might add years to your life.

 

Attributions and the blame game

Part of the human condition is that we tell ourselves stories that help us to make sense of our lives. Making sense of things is a subjective process, but in our stories, we objectify. We often make ourselves the Good Guy, and others the Bad Guy(s) in our personal mythologies. I ran into Good Guy versus Bad Guy interpersonal conflicts innumerable times in my career as a psychotherapist. Of course there are bad situations that are entirely attributable to other people or to some external factor, but it’s often easier to blame some person or some external thing than  to examine your own co-responsibility for finding yourself in an undesirable situation. Instead of working on ourselves, we can attribute our problems to external factors.

I’ve written  previously about avoiding the “monofactorial hypothesis” that A caused B. (“He became an alcoholic because he stopped going to church.”) The monofactorial hypotheses is simplistic, whereas human behaviors and relationship dynamics can be very complex and multifactorial. I’ve also written about the way people give away their own power when they blame other people for their emotional state or their behavior. (“I wouldn’t have hit him if he hadn’t dissed me!” or “She ruined my life when she ________.”) In another post I wrote about Dr. Erik Berne’s book The Games People Play, in which he identifies interpersonal “games” such as Wooden Leg. This game involves statements like “But for my ‘wooden leg’ (i.e. family history, shyness, unpopularity, bad luck, etc.) I would/would have _________.” There may be an element of truth in a stated belief such as this, but there are likely other factors at play.

Many people come to therapy because they feel out of control in some area of their lives. Frequently they have pat explanations of how people and circumstances are making their lives difficult or intolerable, without factoring their own contributions to the problem into the equation. But before I go on I want to be very clear that I’m not blaming anxious or depressed people for their symptoms, especially people suffering from clinical anxiety and depression. However, even people with these chronic conditions can worsen their symptoms by the way they think. Some people attribute their anxiety and depression entirely to external factors, but to some degree they’re unconsciously “doing” anxiety and/or depression.

Many people with anxiety disorders and phobias come up with unique behaviors or rituals that subjectively help them to cope with their symptoms. These behaviors can affect relationships in minor or major ways. The only explanation for the symptom-relief is the person’s belief in their efficacy. I worked with one highly anxious woman who’d “discovered” that crunching on shaved ice cubes temporarily relieved her anxiety. That meant that her lifestyle was restricted to situations where she had constant access to ice, every waking hour. Most people in her life found her persistent ice crunching very annoying. In therapy I got her to see how she was, to some degree, “doing anxiety,” by convincing herself that she had to constantly crunch ice, and worked with her to find better ways to cope with her anxiety. Eventually we got past her exclusive focus on symptoms, and examined the root causes of her anxiety.

Some depressed people “do depression,” or exacerbate their clinical depression, by the way they think. The deep sadness we feel when we experience a significant loss is a natural response. But we can block the natural healing/recovery response to a tragic loss by our thinking, i.e. “I’ll never get over this.” or “I deserve this suffering because I ______.” It’s only human to attribute blame or responsibility onto externals, and sometimes there are  external factors – things we can’t control – that are understandably heartbreaking or discouraging or infuriating. But attributing blame and responsibility can be an excuse, or a distraction from choosing to change yourself in positive ways.

We are, by our very nature, subjective in the way we convert our perceptions – our experience – into cognitions. Some people are more objective than others, because they strive to be fair and objective, and to pay attention to the role of their own thought processes in their experiences. Having witnessed and dealt with countless interpersonal conflicts as a psychotherapist, I’m quite aware of the tendency of people to think of things in in Good Guy/Bad Guy terms. I try to practice what I preach when I’m having a relationship conflict. I ask myself, “How much of this is him/her/them, and how much is me?” This has helped me to resolve conflicts, so it’s become a reflex.

Often there’s a third important factor in the equation – the situation or context. Sometimes that situation or context is a major determinant in what’s going on, and has to be taken into account and given due weight as a relevant factor. In such situations the analysis can be two-sided (“How much is me and how much is IT?), or when others are involved, three-sided (“How much is me, how much is him/her/them, and how much is IT?”) Both as a therapist and in personal relationships, I’ve found this way of thinking to be helpful in coming to terms with problems in my life, without creating new ones by the way I think.

If I blame external factors as the only things holding me back, I have to wait for them to change before I take action. If I take my share of the responsibility for being in an undesirable situation, I can start working to change it immediately. In situations that are entirely attributable to externals, all we can do is work on our attitudes and coping skills.

 

 

 

The mystery of consciousness

In this post I’m going to depart from my usual subject matter to explore something related to psychology, but belonging more to the study of philosophy. Somewhere down the road in this blog I intend to explore topics not directly related to psychotherapy, such as the effects of language on consciousness, the traps of language, and even what “is” is.

Psychology is a relatively young science. Some of the earliest psychologists thought that consciousness should be the primary focus of psychology; but it can’t be observed and measured. Behavior can, so psychology is now understood as the study of human behavior. Consciousness clearly exists in the universe, or I wouldn’t have written this and you wouldn’t be reading it.

Although consciousness is self-evident, science can’t account for it, and it’s relegated to the realm of metaphysics. American psychologist and philosopher William James (who had experimented with the effects of nitrous oxide and ether on consciousness) had this observation: “Our normal waking consciousness . . . is but one special type of  consciousness, whilst all about it, parted from it by the filmiest of screens, there lie potential forms of consciousness entirely different . . . . No account of the universe in its totality can be final which leaves these other forms of consciousness quite disregarded. How to regard them is the question . . . . At any rate, they forbid a premature closing of our accounts with reality.”

James clearly believed that the mystery of consciousness is a vital piece of the cosmic puzzle. But I need to comment on his phrase, “Our normal waking consciousness.” The whole notion of the term “altered states of consciousness” rests on the assumption that there’s a standard, or normal, state of waking consciousness – which I don’t think is the case. To my way of thinking there’s a spectrum of  “normal” states of consciousness (SOCs). I’m in one SOC when I’m engaged in a debate, another when I’m solving a math problem, another when I’m absorbed in a story, and yet another when I’m dancing. All of these are normal states of waking consciousness. This range of normal experiences can be altered in profound ways by drugs, meditative practices, symptoms of mental illness, and other life experiences.

I’ve already written about ways to change your experiences by changing the way you think. But before I expand on non-drug consciousness alteration, I need to be candid about my own psychedelic experiences. (I actually met both Dr. Humphrey Osmond, who coined the term “psychedelic,” and Dr. Timothy Leary, the high priest of LSD.) It’s not my intention to promote the use of psychedelic substances to anyone, but I do think more research needs to be done on their therapeutic use. There are many factors to be considered before taking a psychedelic drug, including the possibility of mental illness, dosage and purity of the substance, as well as one’s mental set and the setting in which the drug is taken.

I haven’t taken a psychedelic drug in years, but in my hippie days I “tripped” many times – mostly on LSD, but also on peyote and psilocybin mushrooms. I’ve never had a “bad trip,” and I believe that my philosophy has benefitted from having experienced SOCs so discontinuous with my “normal” experience that I can’t find words to do them justice. In psychedelic consciousness both perception and cognition are altered in a way that’s unimaginable without experiencing it first-hand. Almost all of my trips had a strong spiritual element, unattached to any specific religious tradition. Especially on high dosages, I felt a oneness-with-the-universe that’s beyond description.

I may never get answers to all of my questions about consciousness, but it’s my Grail Quest. Some books have helped me along the way. After reading William James’ Varieties of Religious Experience, I went on to read Daniel Goleman’s Varieties of Meditative Experience and Masters and Houston’s Varieties of Psychedelic Experience. I’ve also read much of Varieties of Anomalous Experience, published by the American Psychological Association, which explores the scientific literature on such purported phenomena as near-death experiences, out-of-body experiences, hallucinations, lucid dreams, mysticism, “psychic abilities,” and reincarnation. All of these books explore aspects of consciousness, and I recommend them all to any readers who share my fascination with the topic. The best book I’ve ever read on the psychedelic experience was Alan Watts’ The Joyous Cosmology.

What consciousness “is” depends on who you ask. Some philosophers have a materialist frame of reference and view consciousness as a byproduct, or epiphenomenon, of biological existence. From an evolutionary perspective, consciousness arose in complex organisms, allowing them to detect and avoid threats in their environments, enhancing their odds of survival. Science favors a materialist viewpoint. Philosophers with an idealist frame of reference view consciousness as a (or the) fundamental underpinning of the cosmos, or as the cosmic glue that holds everything together – much like The Force in the Star Wars movies. Many religions have an idealist frame. For instance, Hinduism holds that the material world is an illusion – the veil of maya that hides the true, non-dual reality of Brahman.

This post will serve as a point of departure for some future posts about the mystery of consciousness. I won’t be blogging next week, as I need to focus on another writing project. I wish you Godspeed and good fortune in the New Year!

 

 

Metaphor and storytelling in therapy, Part 2

Throughout most of my mental health career I was blessed with good supervision. My first clinical supervisor was a PhD licensed psychologist, Dr. Robert Klein. He taught me a lot, including a procedure for helping enuretic children – bedwetters – to “keep a dry bed” when their families were trying to force them to “stop wetting the bed.” Using this procedure I was able to help several enuretic children to overcome their problem quickly. In one instance, it only took one session for a boy to immediately start keeping a dry bed. The procedure uses storytelling in two different ways, to role-model the desired outcome – as well as a family systems intervention.

This is the sequence I’d learned: After establishing some degree of rapport with the anxious and humiliated child, I’d tell him – in front of his parent(s) – a very brief generic story about “a boy your age” with the same problem, who’d gotten over the problem as quickly as it had started, after seeing a counselor. This provided a ray of hope for a child who desperately wanted to stop wetting his bed, but was clueless as to how to do it.

Then I’d do a family systems intervention, to change the family’s response to the problem, and to get the family to start promoting success, rather than punishing failure. I’d explain that the problem was caused by anxiety ( or “nerves”), and when the boy stopped worrying about bedwetting, it would stop. I’d instruct the parent(s) to stop shaming and punishing the child for “wetting the bed,” and encourage them to talk instead about “keeping a dry bed.” Any siblings should be instructed not to tease their brother. Once I felt confident that the parent(s) understood the plan and that the family would stop blaming and punishing their child, I’d speak to him individually.

By this time, the boy saw me as an ally, one who’d asked his family to stop shaming and punishing him, and who’d predicted quick success. I’d tell him, “There’s a part of your brain that never sleeps” (it’s called the reticular formation), and predicted that when his bladder got full when he was asleep, that part of his brain would wake him up, so he could go pee in the toilet. Then I’d ask him to name his favorite hero, so I could craft a story especially for him. If he said Spider-Man, I’d make up a story on the spot about Spider-Man defeating some supervillain, then going home. There Peter Parker would eat supper, pee, and go to bed. When his bladder got full in the middle of the night, he got up and peed in the toilet, and woke up after sunrise in a dry bed.

Somehow this simple story that models the desired behavior, using a role-model chosen by the child, helps him to be less anxious and to wake up when he needs to pee. In the case of my “one-session enuresis cure,” when I saw the boy’s mother weeks later, I asked her how he was doing and she told me he’d kept a dry bed since the day we met. I asked her how she understood what had worked for him, and she replied, “He said you’d told him that there’s a part of his brain that never sleeps.” Using metaphors and stories that predict success, and give the  client reasons to expect it, can be very effective in therapy.

Therapists who are good at storytelling can craft stories on the spot, or collect teaching stories and select the right one for the right client and situation. The following story, slightly modified, comes from therapist and author Bill O’Hanlon. It’s a good story to tell people whose lives are affected by phobias and irrational fears: The abbot of  a monastery had to go to town for the day, but he hesitated because every time he went away, the monks got into some kind of trouble. The monks urged him to go, promising to stay out of trouble, and not leave the monastery until he returned. So the abbot set out the next morning. Not long after he left, the monks heard a loud knock on the heavy oaken door to the great hall. One of them went and opened the door. He found himself facing a hideous, slimy demon, with a mouthful of fangs and claws like razors. The monk screamed and jumped back, and the demon entered. Other monks heard the screams and ran to the great hall, where they saw the demon menacing their brother and growing larger before their eyes.  They started screaming, too, and the demon grew even faster, towering above their heads.

When the abbot returned, he knew right away that the monks were in trouble again, because the door to the great hall was open, and he heard screaming inside. He entered, closing the door behind him. He saw the huge demon growling and menacing the monks, who cowered in a corner, trembling and screaming. Calmly, the abbot walked over to them, saying “Hi, demon” offhandedly as he passed him.  “Look” he said to the monks, “This demon eats your fear and it makes him grow, but he can’t hurt you. Ignore him.” Comforted by their abbot’s calm presence, the monks stopped screaming and stood up; and the demon started to shrink. Then, to their surprise, the abbot started laughing and telling jokes. Soon all the monks were laughing, and the demon continued to shrink until it was the size of a mouse – its actual size. It couldn’t leave because the door was closed, and the monks decided to keep it as a reminder not to let themselves be ruled by their fears. The abbot told them, “Fear cannot grow where there is heart and humor and laughter.”

If you’re a therapist or are studying to be one, I recommend Bill O’Hanlon’s website <billohanlon.com> as a gateway to a treasure trove of resources. He studied under Dr. Milton Erickson, one of the giants of psychotherapy, whom I’ll be writing about in future posts. Bill has written over 30 published books, and has written about how you can write and publish your book. I got the fear demon story from his CD of stories, “Keep Your Feet Moving: Favorite Teaching and Healing Tales.”